Friday, August 04, 2006

Just To Get It Off My Chest

Something that has bothering me lately is what to do with myself. Career wise.  I can't decide what I want to do and how to go about doing it.

--I always thought I would eventually get a career in Law Enforcement. I went through the Academy and received my State of Florida Law Enforcement Standards, and have applied numerous times to various agencies. But as time goes by, it increasingly becomes more difficult.
Maybe some other public service position. Maybe an EMT or Paramedic. I always wanted to do something where I could help other people. I guess it could be called a Hero Complex. I never thought I had a Hero Complex but reading the definition on Wikipedia it says:

"The Hero Complex is an inherent desire for the need to help others. It is a compellation to help make their world right....

Those who suffer from it tend to feel like they do not understand
what is wrong with them, or feel that the current life they live is
insufficient. For most, the need will ebb and flow.

Many believe that they could do more, ....  They also often ask
the question 'Is this really enough?' or something similar. Those with
this condition make excellent leaders, and often give good advice. They
are very loyal and dependable, and when given a challenge will almost
always find a way to complete it; if they see it as a fun challenge.
(Will often become hostile about 'drudgery work' -- i.e. cleaning
toilets unless it is presented as something challenging.)"

We all know that Wikipedia is not the most reliable source, but this really hits home. I feel this way all the time. Like what I'm doing is not enough and that what I'm doing doesn't make a difference in the grand scheme of things. I want to make a positive impact and do something important. Every job I have ever had, I felt that if I didn't show up the next day then it wouldn't really matter. But if a police officer, fire fighter, or paramedic doesn't show up then it could be a life and death difference.

I do internet sales and some amatuer web design now. I also do computer repair in my spare time. None of this matters. The world will not end and noone will live a better life because of something I am doing now.

--I have also thought about a career in technology. But what area of
technology? How about communications? But where do you get started with
communications? Web design? Product review? IT? Networking? etc....
But I don't feel that any of these will fix the problem, feeling that I am making a difference.

Everyone tells me that I don't want to be a cop or an emt because they don't make any money. I just tell them that it is not something you do for money. I'm doing a job just for money now and I'm not happy doing it.  I think people should work to strive to make themselves and their community better, not to make money.

--It's not about Quantity, It's about Quality.